


Holding On

by fireheart93



Series: Life's a Circus (so why not join one) [2]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Circus!AU, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-24
Updated: 2014-04-24
Packaged: 2018-01-20 16:42:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1517753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireheart93/pseuds/fireheart93
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all began when Alison fell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holding On

It all began when Alison fell.

No. That’s not quite right.

It began when Leonard Church was five years old and his mother left. His father refused to talk about her, removed all the photos of her from the house. But one night his father drank too much, held his son close, and slurred  
“Hold onto what you love tightly, else it will fly away,” and promptly passed out. Leonard forgot these words, grew up, met an acrobat, fell in love, had children and inherited a circus.

And then Alison fell.  
And the words came back.  
Hold on to what you love.

So he tightened his grip on the Circus, changed its name, made it his. Performers started to leave but that was okay because more took their place, drifters, people without a home. He changed their names and made them his and they accepted it. Anything to feel safe. His children spoke of leaving occasionally but he made it clear that their place was in the Circus and they accepted it. His son refused to follow in his footsteps, instead falling in with the clowns, but he stayed. His daughter learnt to fly, like her mother, and he watched her with warring pride and apprehension. And they settled into a routine of performances and travelling, and if they weren’t quite happy they were close enough.

And then there was Tex.

Her name was Beth, but they wouldn’t find that out for years yet. Leonard Church Junior met her in a bar one night after a show, grease-paint still on his hair-line, bags under his eyes. She strode in, leather and metal, and the moment he set eyes on her he was lost. She walked over to the bar, ordered a drink, and then, with a distant stare asked,  
“What’s with the guitar?” Church stuttered slightly, lips numb.  
“I’m…I’m picking it up for a friend,” he said, cursing Tucker’s ridiculous fancies in his head. A strident laugh came from behind him.  
“She’s too good for you boy,” said the man, built like a brick shit-house, “you’d better run along. Girl like her needs a real man.” Before Church could reply Tex stepped in front of him.  
“And I suppose you’re a real man, huh?” The man’s confidence faltered slightly but didn’t quite fail.  
“Why don’t you ditch this kid and find out?” In a heartbeat, too fast for Church to see, Tex threw a punch, connecting violently with the man’s head. He tried to hit her but she caught it, spun him around and slammed him against the bar. The other patrons didn’t even look up.  
“Keep your peace,” she growled “my heart belongs to no one; I can give it to whoever I like.” He tried to break free. She slammed his head against the bar, knocking him out cold.  
“Cockbite,” she kicked his slumped form. Then she turned back to Church.  
“Let’s get out of here.” Church scrambled to his feet, looking behind him, then back to her.  
“Me?” he asked. She stared at him.  
“Are you an idiot?”  
“No,” he protested.  
“Then let’s go.” 

He followed her out of the bar that night.   
His heart has been following her ever since.

She’s an aerial acrobat, like his mother, but she’s never belonged to a circus. Instead she drifts from town to town, attaching herself to shows and leaving again once the wanderlust sets in once more. Their meeting doesn’t change that. She still drifts and he stays with the Circus, but if she happens to drift in the same direction as the Circus more often than not neither of them mentions it. He doesn’t introduce her to his father, something in his gut telling him that would not end well. She has not family to speak of, but she does introduce him to countless biker friends in various bars across the country. He loves her, he thinks, but he doesn’t miss her. He knows he will see her soon, hear the roar of her motorbike, see her leather clad form waiting just outside the Circus, waiting for him. She never says goodbye when she leaves, he wakes up to find a note on the pillow beside him, something inane like ‘Gone to get coffee’, but her clothes will be gone and the motel room will somehow feel smaller without her in it. 

She never comes to see him perform.  
He goes to see her when he can.

She is beautiful in the air, unreal in a way that is impossible to image when you see her on the ground. On the ground she is solid, dependable, dangerous, but in the air she looks as if she would break the bounds of gravity and fly away, like a dream upon waking. The danger is still there though, in the strength of her arms and the lone-star tattoo on her back, just showing above her costume. When she is in the air he never wants her to come down. When she is on the Earth he doesn’t want her to leave. But Leonard Church Junior isn’t like his father, he doesn’t hold onto what he loves for fear of breaking them. So instead he lets her leave, if she wants to.

She always does.  
But she always comes back.  
Until she doesn’t.

She doesn’t say a word but then, she never does. But there’s no note this time, no promise that she will return, just cold sheets. Church returns to the Circus, feeling unsettled, and waits for her to come back. But she doesn’t. The Blue team starts to notice something off about him but at first neither of them works out why, Caboose has trouble understanding people sometimes and Tucker just doesn’t care. His sister attempts to get him to stop moping about but he just start avoiding her, and eventually she stops trying. There’s a hole in his life where Tex should be but she doesn’t come back to fill it. And life moves on.

Two years pass without a word.

And then a car arrives, pulling a trailer with a motorbike strapped to it.

Church watches as Tex steps out, like no time at all has passed. 

He frowns as she ignores him, walking around to the passenger side.

His jaw drops as she picks up a child, a little girl, 18 months old, with Tex’s eyes and his hair.

“Hello Leonard,” she says as she stops in front of him.  
“Hi,” he chokes out, mouth dry.  
“Long time no see,” she tries to smile.  
“You left,” he says, voice strained. “You left without a word.”  
“I don’t like goodbyes,” she says, simply, as if that excused everything. He looks at her, incredulous.  
“Why are you here?”  
“Why do you think?” she frowns at him. “If I’ve got to deal with a child I’m not doing it alone. Not when I know of a sucker who’ll help me.”  
“Oh really,” Church says.  
“Yes,” Tex replies. “Am I wrong?” Church looks at the little girl and sighs.  
“No, you’re not wrong.”  
“Didn’t think so,” Tex smirks. “Here you take her.” Ignoring Church’s protests she hands the girl to him before heading back to the car. Church looks at the girl in his arms. The girl frowns back at him.  
“You gonna smile at me?” Church asks. The girl continues to frown. “Of course you aren’t. Why would you, your mother doesn’t.”

But she does smile, as she looks at Church holding their daughter through the car window.  
She just doesn’t let him see it yet.

**Author's Note:**

> This series will feature Tuckington, Chex, Yorkalina, and Grimmons. I will probably cycle through in that order for a while at least. In this AU, the Director and Alison are Carolina and Church’s parents and all the AI’s are children of their respective freelancers.


End file.
